Have you had those days? When you’re walking around and feeling like you don’t have full control of your facilities? Like all your reflexes are gone and even taking a fart feels like in slow motion?
That certainly seems to be the order for me this week, and hopefully in the next two weeks as well. Yay! Life is great. Not. At least not for November. I hate this year’s November. I want to bend it over and stick a pole up its ass. Too graphic for ya Mr. Prude? I don’t care, really.
This week my combined number of hours sleep is 15. Yes, 1 and 5. That should be enough to send a cow to retirement but due to my god-given stamina and cans and cans of rockstar, bacchus, ion, and sachets of extra joss, I am still standing. Not exactly standing still but who cares right? The important thing is that I’m still here and the week is almost over. About 7 hours more and I should be driving home. The remaining obstacle is the drive home. I’ll be driving as if I’m riding a hovercraft. That’s how wired I am.
And there’s that small matter of the fork that’s stuck on my nape. How does one pull that out? I’ve had several BP exams and I’ve never been categorized as having a high BP. I attribute that to years and years of baking under the sun, playing tennis, and hubris. When you believe you’re indestructible, high BP is the least of your concerns. In fact, the positive attitude alone (hubris can’t be anything but positive, right?) assures one of normal blood pressure. Still, it would be awesome if there’s some drug that you can take that will literally make you experience the feeling of that fork slowly being pulled out of your nape. Goodness, what an idea. And I haven’t even smoked that pot I’ve been hiding.
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