Absolut(ly) Yours

Since I am pissed as hell, I might as well be pissed and sloshed.

Enter Monsieur Le Absolut in his 1 Liter glory.  The best thing to come out of Sweden since Stefan Edberg.  Decked in a bottle that inspired ze Andy Warhol painting, Le Absolut replaces Bacardi as my bottle of choice, the latter having dried up and could now well be on its way to your local junkyard store to be recycled as a vinegar container.  Is that a lower rung in the reincarnation game or what?

Nowadays its a neck-and-neck race between vodka tonic and rhum cola for the lofty position of being my poison of choice.  When I used to have my unlimited supply of Johnnies, courtesy of my former Boss (who’s now probably chasing after Argentinian skirts), there was no contest, it was straight scotch on the rocks.  Three dips on an empty stomach and voila! Sophistication personified. With the recent departure of the benefactor however, scotch lost its appeal.  Maybe its the thought of actually paying for a Johnny that did it in for me.

Recently, the office guys have been playing wine connoiseurs.  A couple of visits to the California Wine Country and they’ve completely sold out (or maybe acquired pretensions?).  It’s hilarious really, seeing these guys raising their wineglasses to the light (what, you’re looking for shadows now?), swirling it, inhaling the bouquet (kuno) and then taking a sip.  Shit.  I do the same thing with my beer bottle and it still tastes the same.

Since then, I took it upon myself to bring a bottle that doesn’t need a can opener or a corkscrew.  Vodka or Rhum became the bottles of choice.  They make those silly gatherings go away faster, and the conversations almost bearable.  I bring my bottle to the party, and bring it home with me if it’s left unfinished, for my future indulgence.

Like this afternoon. 

There’s still around three vodka fingers left in Le Absolut.  Just enough to numb the heat of the afternoon, sweat the bad vibes out, and get wonderfully intoxicated.

Helan g’e5r!!