Waiting For The Sun To Come Up

I did something I haven’t done for quite some time— I stayed up all night drinking coffee, waiting for the sun to come up.

It wasn’t a conscious decision. I was carried away by a rather tight tennis doubles contest between the US and Spain in their Davis Cup quarterfinals. There was also Tiger Woods seeking to capture his 5th Masters Title. Before I knew it, it was already 5 in the morning so I figured that I must as well wait for the sun to break out of the horizon.

Seeing the sun come out of the hills has been a symbol of hope for most people. There’s nothing more reassuring than the thought of another day in a man’s life. For some it’s a confirmation that there is indeed light after the darkness. Unfortunately it’s also another day of suffering for some. But since I am a believer of the oft quoted adage that a person who sees both sides of the coin sees nothing at all, I prefer to look at the brighter side of things; something that I’ve been trying hard to focus on these days. I figured that my days of always looking towards pain and angst to help me get through my self-proclaimed writer’s block (as if), are over. It’s almost a tired angle and I for one am anxious to get through that phase. Life is too short to be focusing on the negatives.

I know that hardships and difficulties are necessary evils that must be undergone to better appreciate the good and sweet things that accompany the bitterness that we sometimes find ourselves engulfed in, but there’s also wallowing and purposeful stagnation that we really have to pull ourselves out of.

I do not know if this thing will work for me. Most of the time my thoughts have centered around suffering and the injustice of it all that maybe I’ve just gotten tired of playing the slighted, long suffering fool. Perhaps this change of pace and insight would bring about new things instead of the stale things thoughts that being pissed and vengeful usually give birth to. Maybe I’ll succeed, maybe I wont; or maybe after going midstream with this angle I would abandon my horse and go to a slightly, if not entirely, modified path– something that I haven’t tried yet.

However scatterbrained this idea (that thing about going through all sorts of directions I mean) may be, the thought of a new sun breaking out into a new day fills me with hope that no matter how terribly I screw up my plans, my grand designs, as long as I live to witness another sunrise, somehow, I can always start all over again.