Crossing the road when the traffic light is still green even when there’s no vehicle with bad intentions is wrong.
Going to work late is wrong.
Talking when your mouth is full is wrong.
Having no internet connection in my house for a week is more than wrong, it’s goddamned criminal!
I hope somebody from my ISP is reading this because this entry is laced with auto-irritants that immediately creates a swelling in the eyelids whenever somebody associated with that company reads this entry. To say I’m pissed would be an insult. Every minute that passes without my internet being reconnected only feeds steam to the nuclear reactor that has been building inside me for days now.
I am a holocaust waiting to happen.
I am Apocalypse.
I am Armageddon.
I am Ragnarok.
I am the Beast in Revelations and I’m about to devour the earth!
Alright fine, so I may have missed paying my internet bill for 3 months (geez these folks have no sense of humor) but then again, can’t they just send me a note or give me a call before they go snip snip in the middle of the night? Besides, the moment they cut my connection I was immediately banging on their doors with my credit card in hand! And they promised me reconnection within 24 hours. 24 agonizing hours that has now been stretched to 168 hours. Gad, I so want to head to the boondocks and reconnect with my leftist friends so we can blow up a whole lot of cell sites!
This is terrible. I now have to rent a cramped area in our neighborhood café so I can get my internet fix. Wedged between folks chatting on webcams and little kids playing DOTA is not my idea of a cyberlife. I have already given up on my social life, and to be deprived of my online community as well is pure unadulterated torture. I am now an internet version of the boat people—an online non-political refugee. Gasp!
By the way, how are you folks?
Me, I’m just peachy. 
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