USEFUL EXPRESSIONS FOR THOSE HIGH STRESS DAYS

1. Well, aren’t we just a ray of fucking sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. Do I look like a fucking people person?
4. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
6. You! Off my planet!
7. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
8. I like cats too. Let’s exchange recipes.
9. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
10. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
11. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
12. Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
13. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
14. I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
15. When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
16. Earth is full, Go home!